Are you playing the blame game?

So it is nearly that time of year again where we set New Year Resolutions. We list everything we want, determined that this is the year that we will succeed. Be honest, how many of you have the same resolutions as last year, and the year before that? Why do so many of us not manage to stick to our New Year resolutions?

The problem is most of us only focus on two key points – where we are now and where we want to finish. We chose to turn a blind eye to the bit in the middle…the ‘how’ it is going to be achieved. The actual work that is it is going to take in order to get there.

As a personal trainer I see this many times with regards to weight loss. The people I see all have a specific goal in mind – lose 2 stone or drop to a size 12 etc. They say that they REALLY want it and will do ANYTHING to get it because that is what will make them happy. And I think initially they all do believe what they are saying.

But re-visit this conversation a week, maybe 2 weeks later and you start hearing things like I’m too tired, too busy, too stressed.  Any of these starting to sound familiar? You see, when things get tough and people start to lose their way they look for reasons why. And rather than look inside they focus on the external factors, by blaming others it clears them of all responsibility and gives them a guilt-free way out.  Because if you are too tired, too busy, too stressed then it’s not your fault if goals are missed is it? By finding a reason why targets are not achieved it lets us off the hook.

It can be very scary to admit that we need to change something about ourselves, or the way we do things, in order to stop damaging our chances of happiness. So many take the easier option and start playing the blame game. Without even realising it people claim that the reason why they’re unhappy is due to someone else or a certain situation. But let’s not beat about the bush here – you are totally responsible for the condition your body is in. You decide what you eat and how active you are. The shape of your body is determined by the choices you have made over the last few days, weeks, months and years.

The concept of being responsible is not an easy one to accept. But if you want to be successful you need to accept full responsibility for everything that goes on in your life. You and only you are the cause of whether or not you succeed or fail. And here is the really good news – being able to take full responsibility for your life gives you POWER and once you know that you are responsible for the results than you can see that you are responsible for the change.

Being responsible requires that you quit playing the blame game, stop all your victim stories, and your moaning and groaning. You need to stop with all the excuses of why your life isn’t going the way it is supposed to be going. You have to give up your need to be right, you feelings of entitlement, the fears, and the ignorance. You also have to get rid of the emotions and the feelings of being a victim of a past based circumstance.

Instead you need to take control of your life and know that YOU have the power to dictate the direction of where your life will be going. You are ultimately the creator of your life and you decide if you succeed or fail through the power of personal choice. You may not be able to change the way others behave or the circumstances that you are in, but you have total control over how you react. You can decide to live a happier life by how you deal with them. In a nutshell you can choose whether you are the victim or victor of circumstances. The choice is yours.

If you want something and I mean really want it then NOTHING will get in your way. You will find the time, the energy, the finances, the knowledge to achieve whatever it is you want.  So when setting those New Year Resolutions this time ask yourself if you are ready to put the work in, if you are not sure then you really need to start to ask yourself how much you actually want it.

Games are meant to be fun, trust me this one isn’t and if you chose to keep participating then you will never get what you want and nothing will ever change. 2013 is your year. This is your journey and you are totally responsible for how it goes.  You want it. Go get it.

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.”

~ George Bernard Shaw


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